My childhood Love

51001164-cute-children-holding-red-heart-shape-in-summer-park-valentines-day-background-.jpg

Romanian version, after the English

Today, for the first time, I had the courage to talk to you about my childhood feelings, with you, my childhood Love.
It wasn’t easy, but I felt like I had to do it, maybe because I suffered too much for you, I loved you too much in that magical time of childhood. A pure love.

We were good friends when we were playing in big groups of children and I was wondering if you were feeling at least a little of the magic that had flooded my heart for years, when I was just a girl.
Today I found out the answer. You knew everything about my feelings and this made my heart skip a bit. You said it was obvious and even if I was a shy girl, I couldn’t hide them. Although I knew we were like water and oil. I was coming from a very faithful family, you less. You were that boy that all the girls were looking at and I fell as one of them in your net, you kissed me for the first time and you swept me off my feet, maybe even without trying.

I know, maybe you will read these lines, but today we were able to talk like adults about what it was then, in that magical realm where you will always have a special place in my heart, when I was just a little girl.

Poem translated from Romanian, no rhyme 

Clouds and sun just passed away,
From the day I felt the last shivers, let me say,
Seeing a face in the shadow of the sunny day
That hurt me without knowing or remembering …

But the stormy years and the new lightening of lilies,
They buried you in memories,
Until just one word
Dredged you from under the cold earth,
And I just wanted to see you for a moment,
So I couldn’t see that you were missing a wing …

But, the Moon, the Stars and the Sun were hiding you from me,
leaving in my new body, just the old sighs
Of those times when we often walked alongside
And among the smiles, in the glade I was losing myself,
And though I didn’t know if you were with me
A tightly chained rope was keeping you with me,
And I would have liked to cut it off
For from the shadow you were watching me,
And in the moonlight, one night you kissed me ….

Yet, today when the Sun lets you come out from behind the clouds,
with buds of roses and thorns, you wrap me up again,
But the lilies do not whisper like before
For our hands slowly turn into clay.

But today, though my mind wants to lose you in the wilderness,
My heart, with chills, must write,
For everything that it was clean,
And for the time stolen,
for the glimpse of the mystery of life
When our pure hearts couldn’t even whisper!

R.B.

little-girl-blowing-a-kiss.jpgRomanian version

Astăzi pentru prima dată am avut curaj să vorbesc cu tine despre setimentele mele de copil, iubirea mea din copilarie.
Nu mi-a fost usor, dar am simtit ca trebuie sa fac acest pas, poate pentru ca am suferit prea mult pentru tine, te-am iubit prea mult in acel timp magic al copilariei. O iubire pura.

Eram prieteni buni atunci cand ne jucam in grupuri mari de copii si ma intrebam daca simti macar putin din magia care imi inundase inima mea de copil, de ani de zile.
Astazi am aflat raspunsul. Stiai totul despre sentimentele mele, ceea ce m-a emotionat. Ai spus ca era evident si chiar daca eram o fetita timida, nu am reusit sa le ascund. Cum as fi putut, desi stiam ca eram ca apa si uleiul. Eu veneam dintr-o familie credincioasa, tu mai putin. Tu erai acel baiat de toate fetele privit si eu am cazut ca una dintre ele in plasa ta si m-ai cucerit, poate chiar fara sa incerci, nici o clipa.

Stiu poate vei citi aceste randuri, dar astazi am putut sa vorbim, ca niste adulti, despre ceea ce eram atunci, in acel univers magic, unde tu vei ramane mereu si vei ocupa un loc special in inima mea de fetita.

Au trecut nori, au trecut zori,
Din ziua cand am simtit ultimii fiori
Vazand un chip in umbra zilei insorite
Ce ma ranea fara a sti ori a-si aduce aminte…

Dar a anilor furtuni si noi sclipiri de crini,
Te-au ingropat prin caramizi de amintiri,
Pana cand doar un cuvant
Te dezgropa de sub recele pamant,
Si as fi vrut sa te zaresc doar pentru-o clipa,
Pentru a nu vedea ca iti lipseste o aripa…

Dar Luna, Stelele si Soarele te ascundeau de mine,
Si imi lasara in corpul nou, doar vechile suspine,
Acelor timpuri cand adesea alaturi noi paseam,
Si printre zambete, in luminis eu ma pierdeam
Si desi nu stiam daca erai si tu cu mine
Un lant de trandafiri, strans legata ma tinea de tine…
Si as fi vrut de mult sa-l tai
Caci din umbra furis tu ma priveai,
Si in lumina lunii, intr-o noapte ma sarutai….

Dar azi cand Soarele te lasa sa apari de printre nori,
Tu cu boboci de trandafiri si spini, din nou ma infasori,
Dar crinii nu ne mai soptesc ca la-nceput
Caci mainile noastre se prefac incet, incet in lut..

Insa, azi desi mintea vrea sa te piarda in pustie,
Inima, cu condei de fiori trebuie sa scrie,
Pentru tot ce-a fost curat,
si de asprul timp furat,
Pentru priviri ce taina vietii ne rosteau
cand inimile gingase nici sa soptesca, nu-ndrazneau…

R.B.


 -imagini preluate de pe net-         „Poems”…with Roxana Barsan-

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